7 Light Bondage Ideas for All You Soft Kinksters

Light bondage might sound like an oxymoron, but it’s a common practice — even among your most vanilla straight friends.

For the uninitiated, BDSM often conjures images of intense sadism and masochism. Maybe you imagine a leather-clad daddy Dom whipping a filthy gimp in a dimly-lit sex dungeon. But a submissive in a French maid outfit being tickled with a feather duster is BDSM, too — just a little cuter. 

If you’re just getting started in Dominant-submissive role-play, you won’t win a medal for diving headfirst into a pool of hot wax. It’s better to dip your toe into the shallow end and get comfortable with gradually intensifying sexual activities. And if you discover you prefer the light touch of fuzzy handcuffs over being bound and gagged, that’s OK, too.

Let’s go over some beginner BDSM toys and role-playing scenarios to get you started. 

What’s light BDSM? 

BDSM is about creating a sexual power exchange in which a submissive partner hands over control to a Dom — with agreed-upon boundaries and enthusiastic consent, of course. But what you define as “light” and “hardcore” is pretty subjective. If you’re a newbie, nipple clamps might sound extreme. But wait until you hear about electric tweezers. 

Although physical masochism and emotional humiliation make some people cum, these acts aren’t essential for exploring erotic power dynamics and experiencing BDSM-related pleasure. For you, the discomfort of being tied up in itchy ropes and suspended in the air may be so distracting that you can’t enjoy sex enough to reach an orgasm. That’s totally OK — kink is a contact sport, not a competitive one. 

One easy way to distinguish light BDSM from the rest is its approach to pain and discomfort. Light bondage takes a gentle approach to restraint, domination, and sensory play. Rather than a latex mask and spiked paddle, you might opt for a silk blindfold and soft flogger. This light approach lets you explore the boundaries in a more relaxed setup. 

Bondage for beginners: 7 light BDSM ideas

Light bondage usually includes spanking, blindfolds, and gentle ties. You can also dive into role-play to explore domination and submission. Here are seven bondage ideas to kick off your dirty little slut era:

1. Send him sexy texts

Sending nudes in leather chaps is a sure-fire technique to get your man bricked up. It’s also a good way to get excited about trying out some new bondage gear. Throughout the day, send him sexy text messages letting him know exactly what you’re going to do to him (or want him to do to you). Pictures or a video using your favorite sex toy will make the message cunty and clear. 

2. Go for a Tony with an erotic role-play performance

Whether or not you dress up as a plumber and horny housewife, BDSM is role-play. You and your bae adopt a Dom-sub power dynamic. But stepping into your naughty roles might feel embarrassing or fill you with boner-killing performance anxiety. 

Playing characters with a built-in power imbalance is a fun way to ease into your smutty sex dynamic. Boss and employee, maid and master, or doctor and patient are a few tried-and-true role-play ideas. They help you naturally explore the Dom-sub dynamic while keeping it light-hearted. Plus, who doesn’t want to fuck a hot doctor? 

3. Spread ‘em, partner

If you like restraints but aren’t sure about full-blown cock and ball torture, it’s time to try out a spreader bar. It can be used on arms or legs (or one for each!) to limit your movement, giving your partner full access to blow you or pound you from behind.

Remember, if you’re gonna spread the tush, you better douche. (Pretend that rhymed.) 

4. Edge him with a full-body massage

Orgasm control (such as edging) is a powerful tool in any soft Dom’s toolbox. Edging is when you bring your partner to the point of orgasm before stopping, calming down, and starting over. What better way to bring bae to the point of no return than a full body massage? 

To heighten the sensory experience, you can turn off the lights or use a blindfold and BDSM toys, such as a tickler or wheel roller. Warm oils and ice cubes can also add an element of surprise to the sensory experience. If you want to massage his prostate, use anal beads or a vibrator, first stroking his thighs and cheeks before you slowly milk his bussy.

Remember, restraint and control work both ways. Resisting the urge to fuck him will ensure you both get a big load. 

5. Tie him up

Restraints are bondage 101. A scarf or tie is an easy way to get into the Dom/sub power dynamic without leaving a mark. Find sex restraints made with soft, comfortable materials like silk, satin, or velvet. Harsh materials like metal, leather, or rope can scratch or chafe the skin, which might sour the moment. 

Bondage can quickly become overwhelming. Keep scissors handy, or use simple knots for a quick release if things become too intense. 

6. Hit me, baby, one more time

A good top knows the perfect moment to give his bottom a well-earned (consensual) spanking. This natural skill can also be used as discipline. 

Make your man sit on a bed or chair and watch you. He’s not allowed to touch you or himself. Slowly strip down and touch yourself, first massaging your body before playing with your penis or fingering yourself. Give him a lap dance and whisper naughty things in his ear. Every time he slips up and touches you or himself, he gets a spanking. 

7. Seriously, baby, hit me one more time

The excitement of spanking can be intensified with restraints. Tie your partner standing up with their hands above their head or behind their back and blindfold them. Spank their body with a gentle flogger or paddle, gradually increasing the intensity and rhythm. Spanking makes for excellent foreplay that leads to big orgasms.

Take your time and surprise your partner. And don’t just stick to your flogger; tease his cheeks with your cock while you’re at it.

3 tips for getting into light bondage

The world of kinks and fetishes is vast and never-ending. Don’t get overwhelmed; get bricked up. Here are three ways to prep for some light bondage: 

1. Fill out a BDSM checklist

A BDSM checklist is like a menu for kinks and fetishes. It outlines different BDSM sex activities, which you and your partner rate based on your level of interest.

A BDSM checklist is a practical way to separate a soft maybe from a hard no. It’s also an opportunity to get comfortable (and horny) talking about your desires and exploring sex acts you didn’t even know were a thing. Who knows? You may discover an affinity for leashes and pup play. 

2. Watch JOI porn

BDSM doesn’t have to be with a partner. You can explore sex with porn and guided masturbation, too.

JOI stands for “jerk-off instructions.” It’s a genre of porn where a narrator walks you through a set of naughty instructions. Many hosts will jerk off with you or supplement your masturbation with a titillating scenario.

You don’t have to search for a BDSM-specific JOI, either. Letting someone tell you exactly how and when to touch yourself is already unleashing your submissive self. You can also practice some mutual masturbation with your man if you’re both in the mood to be dominated.

3. Practice safe sex

No matter how extreme, BDSM goes to great lengths to ensure everyone feels safe and protected. Before trying anything, talk at length about expectations, rules, and limitations. Choose a safe word (think “red light” rather than “stop”) and ensure each partner understands that the fun stops as soon as someone uses their safe word — even in the middle of intercourse.