Wax Play Extravaganza: Drip, Drizzle, and Sizzle Your Way to Fun

Asking your partner to cover your neck in a warm, clumpy white liquid might sound like a typical Tuesday night, but wax play elevates those pearl necklace fantasies with sensual candles. Before you reach for those pumpkin spice Yankee candles you've been saving for a special occasion, Grindr is here to ensure you make it burn so good.

What is wax play? 

Wax play is a BDSM kink that involves dripping or pouring melted wax onto a partner's body. In the world of BDSM, it falls into the larger "temperature play" category, which is exactly how it sounds — using hot or cold objects to create intense sensations during sex. 

For hot wax sex kinksters, the sensation of feeling something warm (or even stinging hot) on the skin or watching colorful wax melt onto a partner's body is intensely arousing, especially when paired with other sensory play. Using restraints or blindfolds intensifies the surprise factor. Likewise, it naturally lets you explore Dom/sub power dynamics, using wax play candles for punishment, degradation, or teasing. 

Like any other BDSM kink and fetish, wax play is safe with specific precautions. And we're not just talking about stocking up on body-safe, low-temperature sex candles to keep your man safe from third-degree burns. Enthusiastic consent, respect for boundaries, and aftercare ensure everyone has a wick-ed good time. 

How to get ready for candle play

Scraping candle wax off the sheets or rushing to the store for aloe vera is a surefire way to extinguish the flame of a hot, new sexual experience. Here are a few ways to get ready to light his fire and keep it slow burning. 

1. Save yourself from a cleaning nightmare

Without proper protection, you'll probably have some heavy-duty cleanup to get oily dried candle wax off your sheets, pillows, and surfaces. It's hard to enjoy those post-sex cuddles when you're on all fours scraping stray melted wax off the floor. 

Although decidedly less sexy than satin sheets, a canvas tarp can be shaken off in the backyard or bathroom and tossed into the washing machine. Plastic tarps are equally effective but might turn your attention to squeaky noises rather than sexy time.

2. Prepare your space

Setting the mood with dim lights and a hot playlist will ignite the fire inside you, but never forget that you're literally playing with fire. Get rid of flammable materials, like alcohol and aerosol sprays, and position your sexy space away from curtains and drapes. 

Having a fire extinguisher or bucket of water handy is also a good idea. It might sound extreme, but the alternative is calling the fire department when you're in fuckmode, which is not as sexy as it might sound. 

3. Shave and moisturize

Applying lotion or massage oil to the skin before candle play will make it easier to clean off and avoid irritating the skin. And if you're going to be dipping wax on the derriere, inner thighs, dick and balls (or anywhere with body hair), a quick shave will bypass painful tangles and hair ripping — unless that's the vibe you're going for. 

4. Check your pain tolerance

BDSM wax has a low melting point, but it's still a good idea to test the temperature beforehand. Drop wax on the back of your hand or wrist to confirm that the temperature is tolerable. Then, test on your partner. Start with the back of his hand and wrist, and continue to test with a single drip on other areas of the body before engaging in full-on play. 

Some body parts are more sensitive than others, particularly those not regularly exposed to touch or sunlight. Likewise, this isn't the time for a wax mold of your partner's hole — leave that to the folks at Edible Anus. Keep all wax play external. 

5. Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey

The closer the candle is to the body, the hotter the temperature against the skin. The further away, the cooler the sensation. The idea isn't to burn you or your partner with hot wax. Hovering 15 inches or more is a good measurement to keep the temperature sexy. Be careful: Holding the candle too high might splatter hot wax on naughty bits that aren't as comfortable. To avoid burning your hand (or starting a fire), blow out the flame before dripping the wax. 

6. Give him a golden wax shower

After you’ve found the right distance and body parts, slowly drip hot wax onto your partner's body. A slow drip will build up the foreplay, letting brief pauses and small bits of wax boost the sensual surprise factor. As you and your partner get heated, switch to a pour and massage the warm wax. It’s a great time to practice giving your partner a nipplegasm or erotic massage. 

7. Take turns

If you and your partner aren't into Dom/sub role-play, you can take turns pouring. Facing one another, let your partner pour wax onto your shoulder before you pour wax onto his chest. Massage each other's wax simultaneously while you have a hot makeout session. 

You can also sit in a seesaw position to stimulate one another. One partner sits cross-legged while the other straddles his lap, facing him with his legs wrapped around his partner's back. The straddling partner can slowly grind his partner's dick while dripping wax onto his partner's chest and tummy, mutually masturbate with warm wax, or slowly fuck while pouring wax down each other's backs. Remember to be extra careful to avoid getting wax inside yourselves; it’ll be difficult to douche and possibly injure sensitive tissue. 

8. Be communicative

Strong, consistent communication should always be your top priority during sexual experiences, especially new ones. If the wax is too hot, a body part is too sensitive, or you feel pain or discomfort, let your partner know. 

Dirty talk is a sexy way to check in with your partner. Something as simple as, "Does that feel good, baby?" or, "Give me more, Daddy," keeps everyone comfortable and turned on. Likewise, safe words you wouldn't usually use in sex, like "conifer tree" or "Kristen Wiig" (we love you, girl), are clear signals to stop and check in with one another when the scene becomes too overwhelming. 

9. Stay present

A glass of whatever your fave cocktail happens to be might give you the liquid courage to try something new. But substances can also eschew your pain threshold and response time (not to mention other potential roadblocks). Being sober will ensure you both stay within your limits while looking out for each other's safety. 

10. Practice aftercare

At its core, all BDSM play explores Dom/sub power dynamics. Even hyper-positive praise kinks require aftercare to help both partners feel safe and nurtured in and out of the sexual experience. Showering together, cuddling, or even preparing a romantic dinner afterward are opportunities to nurture one another and talk about the experience. Aftercare is also a moment to apply necessary aloe or lotions to soothe and protect your skin. 

11. Clean up

Let the wax fully dry — it'll be much easier to clean than warm, malleable wax. Rather than pulling individual dots of wax off your sheets or tarp, shake it off. The remaining stray pieces of wax can be pulled off or washed away in the laundry. 

To remove wax from your body, wipe yourself down with a wet towel before scrubbing yourself in the shower. Massage candles are designed to be rubbed into the skin. When melted, they absorb into the skin like moisturizers. For some, the removal is part of the fun, so check in with your partner beforehand. 

How to choose the right sex candles

Stop! Your limited-edition Gwyneth Paltrow vagina candle isn’t designed for sexy skin contact. 

Before pouring hot wax onto your partner, read the ingredients on the candle. A good rule of thumb is to buy body-safe BDSM candles, which are made from materials that burn at a lower temperature and are easier to clean. BDSM candles are typically made with shea butter, soy, and paraffin, which are unlikely to burn or irritate your skin, whereas beeswax candles burn at high temperatures. Likewise, BDSM candles are designed to pour easily with spouts or handles, which will help maintain your grip and control the pour. 

If this is your first time experimenting with wax play, massage candles are a great place to start. They have a softer texture and contain oils that are meant to be rubbed and absorbed into the skin. It’s basically a very sexy, mutual skincare routine.