Cocktails and Cockfails: Navigating Whiskey Dick

You take a whiskey drink. You take a vodka drink. You take a lager drink. You take a cider drink. You take bae home to finish the happy hour.

Except when you pull down your pants, your dick looks like a cocktail wiener forgotten in the back of the fridge. And no matter how much you try to warm it up, it refuses to join the party. Sorry, Danny boy, you have whiskey dick! 

It’s a twist of cruel fate. You may imbibe a cocktail or two to loosen up, feel sexy, and boldly flirt with the cute boy at the bar. But sometimes, too much liquid courage can turn a steamy sex scene into a disappointing plot twist. Orgasm, exit stage right. Erectile dysfunction, enter stage left. 

Whiskey dick is real, but she doesn’t have to ruin the party. Grab a pen, some paper, and a tall glass of water. Grindr is here to teach you everything you need to know to stay hard. 

What’s whiskey dick? 

The boys might call it whiskey dick. But doctors call it alcohol-related erectile dysfunction. It’s a temporary condition where you cannot get hard or keep an erection after having too many alcoholic drinks. And it’s not just whiskey that makes your penis soft. Any alcohol can make your dick too drunk to perform. 

So, what causes whiskey dick? Alcohol is a depressant that interrupts the functioning of your central nervous system. It slows down brain activity and neural communication from the brain to the rest of the body. The depressant properties of a drink or two tend to put you in a good mood and lower your inhibitions. But too much alcohol will interfere with your brain’s ability to send blood flow to your penis, which is crucial to getting hard and keeping an erection during sex. Basically, alcohol is a wet blanket that dampens your body’s sexual reflexes. 

The temporary condition is a cruel irony. Many people consume alcoholic drinks to loosen up and increase their sexual confidence. But too much of the good stuff can sabotage sexual performance when it’s most needed. And it isn’t just the penis possessors that suffer from stage fright. People with vaginas experience the same suppressed arousal from too much alcohol. 

This is your libido on alcohol

Long-term, chronic alcohol consumption can cause more permanent sexual dysfunction. Alcohol damages your nerve function, which interrupts your brain’s ability to pump that dick up with blood. Over time, regular alcohol overconsumption can keep you from pitching a tent even when you’re totally sober. 

Your body is a magical temple. But it can only take so much abuse. Many people with alcohol dependence deal with regular erectile dysfunction, difficulty reaching satisfying orgasms, and premature ejaculation. Talk about a boner killer.

You may be asking, “If I stop drinking, will my ED go away?” Fortunately, most people see improved sexual function within a few weeks after going sober. Still, after a certain point, damage to your central nervous system from chronic alcohol consumption can be irreversible.

If you regularly engage in heavy drinking or binge drinking that impacts your mental and physical health, sexual dysfunction might be a symptom of a more significant problem. Reach out to your community, consult with your doctor, or make an appointment with a mental health professional to help re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol.

How many drinks is too many drinks? 

Excessive alcohol and erectile dysfunction go together like bears and bicep tattoos. But alcohol impairs everybody differently. 

Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all cut-off that saves you from accidentally cruising into limp dick territory. It depends on your overall alcohol tolerance, your physical response to alcohol, and how quickly your body metabolizes booze. Factors like genetics, weight, and age all determine how your body processes alcohol. 

Several day-to-day lifestyle factors can impact your boner, too. The food in your tummy, medications, and your stress level impact how your body absorbs alcohol on a given day.

How to prevent whiskey dick

Not to sound like Sister Mary, but abstinence from alcohol is the only guaranteed way to prevent whiskey dick. But there’s nothing wrong with grabbing a drink with the girls. Here’s how to have your cocktail and get your cock hard, too:

1. Drink less alcohol

For some, it might be easier said than done when you’re at a party where everyone is drinking. But drinking less can help you stay sober and keep your wits (i.e., not become that messy bitch who’s the subject of all those “remember when” stories). 

Get to know your alcohol limits. Observe how different amounts and drinks affect you. Pay attention to body signals like light-headedness, slurred speech, or delayed coordination.

If you just want to drink something, take a sip of water between each sip of alcohol. It will help you stay hydrated, feel full faster, and lessen the impact of alcohol on your nervous system. 

2. Stick to beer and wine

Whether you’re taking shots or sipping cosmos, you tend to feel the effects of hard liquor harder and faster. This is partly because of its high alcohol content. A 12-ounce beer or 5-ounce glass of wine is equivalent to a 1.5-ounce shot of 80-proof alcohol. Beer and wine have a higher water content and take up more volume in your stomach. It’s a natural way to pace yourself, allowing your body to absorb alcohol slowly, stay hydrated, and feel full faster. 

Plus, sticking to beer or wine can help you stay sober and keep your wits. (Re: the messy bitch dilemma.) You’re more likely to reap the rewards of feel-good liquid encouragement and take a boy home afterward. 

3. Eat more

The food in your stomach determines how quickly alcohol is absorbed. A good rule of thumb is to consume foods high in fat since they take longer to digest and leave the stomach. Although cautious bottoms might avoid certain foods before sex, a good top can keep their blood alcohol level down and their boner up by ordering a burger with fries with their martini. Just be sure to pack some Altoids alongside that box of condoms. 

The party’s not over: How to work around whiskey dick

Intercourse isn’t the only way to enjoy sex with your partner. Use your gay audacity and get creative. 

Communicate first

Erectile dysfunction is nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to the best of us, champ. Communicate the issue with your partner to ease sexual performance anxiety and transition into a sexy conversation about other ways to pleasure each other. 

Cross something off your sex bucket list

Penetrative intercourse is just one item on a long list of ways to achieve orgasm. Try going down Grindr’s sex bucket list to find ideas that don’t require an erect dick, including trying a sex toy on his G-spot, giving a rim job, or switching the Dom/sub dynamic. 

Use your hands

Ask any dedicated side: A pair of strong hands can do way more than your strongest erection. Break out the oil, light some candles, and give your partner a full body massage. Once you’re done working those tight glutes, finger your man until he feels as intoxicated as you do.