How to Use a Dildo for Men: A Deep Dive Into Backdoor Pleasure

If you’re reading this, it’s probably safe to say you — like us — love dicks. The below-the-belt, veiny, phallic variety that is. From #manmeatmonday to #fatcockfriday and all weekend long, we just can’t get enough. It’s a hard life (in more ways than one). But hey, somebody has to live it.

There’s no denying RL disco sticks are the real deal, but what about their inanimate counterparts? You know, the ones that are always rock-hard and always ready and waiting on the nightstand? Yep, we’re talking about dildos. 

Sure, they’re traditionally marketed to cis women, but guys both cis and trans — or anyone, for that matter — can also get plenty of mileage out of a dildo. After all, a hole with a goal is a hole with a goal. In fact, we’d argue using a dildo as a man is an exercise in self-discovery, one we prostate gland gurus hole-heartedly promote. 

Sound like something you’d be into (if you aren’t already)? Read on as we unload everything you need to know about dicking yourself (or someone else) down with a dildo.

Why should men give dildos a go?

The most obvious answer is also the simplest: Dildos are shaped like dicks, and dicks fit ever so delightfully in assholes. For cis guys, that very hole is also the not-so-secret portal to the prostate — sometimes referred to as the “P-spot” or “male G spot” — which is fairly easy to stimulate via penetration, whether with an actual penis or a sex toy like a dildo. If you’ve yet to wander back there during a good gooning sesh, you don’t know what you’re missing. The payoff can be an eye-rolling, toe-curling orgasm so intense it feels like it could register on the Richter scale.

And better yet, there’s no need to hog all the fun for yourself, little piggy — your partner(s) can join in, too. Incorporating a dildo into solo, couple, or group play can increase arousal, enhance pleasure, and unlock new sensations more sinister than Sodom and Gomorrah.

But best of all, the wide and girthy world of dildo options out there couldn’t be more conducive for guys to play around and find what feels best — whether it’s a slender 5-incher or a full-blown footlong fist.

6 of the best dildos for men

Anyone can use dildos, but some are better suited for folks who are packing prostates. Here are a few of our fave toys that are intentionally designed to root around your rectal cavity. 

Just remember, toys for anal masturbation should always have a flared base (that means no turning cucumbers into homemade pickles). Never use an anal sex toy without a flared base unless you’re wanting to wind up in the ER with a lot of explaining to do. We promise there are better ways to meet hot doctors.

Prostate stimulators

Prostate stimulators put the P in GPS. If anything can find that P-spot, it’s one of these little pretties, which are usually curved to target the prostate spot on. 

Vibrating toys for men

Vibrating dildos take everything to the next level. These days, many are app-controlled, which means you can pass the reins to a partner and let him play however he wants, wherever he happens to be. Half of the fun is not knowing when he’ll crank it up to an 11. Just keep in mind that it could be at Starbucks or a Sunday family dinner.

Traditional dildos

Modern tech has given us plenty of fancy, fun playthings, but classics never die. Old-school, schlong-shaped dildos might have been “originally” intended for vaginas, but they work just fine for butt play. If you’re looking to work on your bottoming game without having to field all the bells and whistles, these are perfect for practicing solo.

Anal plugs for men

Although not traditional dildos, anal plugs are an assertive choice for both beginners and penetration pros on the go. They’re shaped to prioritize the prostate and perfect for bedroom play but also incognito enough to wear while out and about, allowing caboose-curious novices to ease into assplay at their own pace.

Pegging strap-ons for men

Strap-ons, like dildos, are for anyone and everyone. Don’t believe us? Just ask all the guys from all angles of the Kinsey Scale who are into getting pegged until kingdom cum. Try giving your — or your partner’s — pork sword a rest and unsheathe one of these instead.

Suction-cup dildos

Suction-cup dildos are for butt sluts who throw it back with some force. The strong suction base sticks to most nonporous materials, turning any surface into a penetration station that allows you to nail all the right angles. Mise-en-place in the kitchen paired with a little prostate play? Slap that puppy on the dishwasher door and get to work! 

How to use a dildo for men

Sure, the “thing” goes in the “other thing.” It might seem simple, and for the most part it is. But there are a few other agenda items to know about how to insert a dildo before giving your P-spot the ol’ what for.

1. Clean the dildo

Always clean your sex toys before and after each use, including when they’re fresh out of the box. With most toys, you’re fine using mild soap and warm water, but read the product instructions for any specifics.

2. Prepare your body

Tap into what you’re feeling. Are you anally anxious? Rectally rearing to go? You’re probably a bit of both, which is totally understandable if it’s your first trip to Silicone Valley.

Take some time to relax and mentally prepare yourself. Anal play feels much more fun if your body is geared up for it. You’ll probably want to douche beforehand, too.

3. Set the scene

One way to relax before anal masturbation is to stage an inviting environment. Candles, dim lighting, and relaxing music should do the trick. You don’t have to go full-blown romance and sprinkle a bunch of rose petals leading up to your dildo. But you certainly can — you do you.

4. Use plenty of lube

High-quality lubricant is the fairy godmother of comfortable, cum-inducing butt play with a dildo. Without it, your artificial appendage probably won’t even get past the floodgates. Keep things sexy by first slathering your toy — and your hole — in lube until you’re both as greased-up as a go-go boy.

5. Warm up first

Start off nice and slow: soft touches to your hole with your fingers (again, use plenty of lube). Then, try easing one or two digits in to help it adjust before moving on to the dildo. If this is your first time, observe your body. Your anus is home to one of your body’s most concentrated areas of nerve endings, so be aware of everything you’re feeling — and how it makes you feel.

Remember, this is all about nudging yourself out of your comfort zone, but if the warm-up leaves you clenched and concerned, this probably isn’t the right time. Let yourself off the hook and try again when you’re more relaxed.

6. Ease into it

If finger foreplay went well and you’re down to keep going, great! Time to move on to second base. Try using your index and middle fingers to slowly and gently stretch your hole a bit while you continue to focus on your breathing. Then, once you’ve got a little more wiggle room, try the tip of the dildo and go from there. But again, we can’t stress this enough: Go slow! Even if your biggest fantasy is to destroy that hole beyond recognition, you have to learn to walk before you can run. Take your time and pick up the pace only when you’re ready. Trust us, when it’s officially time to take yourself to poundtown, you’ll know.

7. Breathe, breathe, breathe

Continue to breathe slowly and deeply as you slide the toy in further, little by little. Go just as slowly as you’re breathing, if not more. The deeper you breathe, the more oxygen your body receives. This will help keep you relaxed as your mind adjusts to the new sensation of the dildo inside you. Once it’s in, pause for a minute or two while the dildo and your anal cavity get to know each other. 

If you find yourself enjoying the experience more and more as the seconds go by, you’re probably ready to take things to the next level — whatever that means for you. It could be that first-class ticket to poundtown we mentioned earlier. Or it could be just letting it sit, filling your ass while you enjoy other parts of your body. 

If you’re still not feeling it, start pulling out the dildo just as slowly as you guided it in. Again, breathe!

Best positions to use a dildo

It’s not just about where you stick it — it’s how. Here are a few of our favorite anal dildo positions that we’ve gathered through “ample field research”:

• Spooning: This one’s a classic, comfortable position for couples (or more) that promotes intimacy but is also extremely sexy, all while allowing for easy insertion.
• Doggy style: Getting on all fours is a five-star move for going deeper or stimulating your prostate more, whether you’re solo or with a partner,
• On a chair: If you’re playing with a suction-cup dildo, sticking it to a non-upholstered chair allows your hands to do other stuff. Zoom calls will never be the same.
• Against or on top of anything, really: If you liked riding that chair, you’ll love everything else you can do with a suction-cup dildo and basically any flat, nonporous surface: walls, floors, showers, car hoods, that dishwasher we mentioned earlier. Let your creative side run wild — just be sure to keep things safe, consensual, and legal.