Power Bottoms: Bussy That Bites Back

Just like we all know there are more than two genders, everyone’s aware there are more than two sexual positions — top, bottom, side, switch, vers top, vers side… you get the point. Nothing is binary anymore. 

Within those sub-categories — or Dom-categories, depending on who you’re talking to — you’ll find even more variety. Among them, one type might be better known than all the rest (and we’re not just saying that because we’re afraid of them). We’re talking, of course, about the power bottom.

A power bottom is so much more than just a sexual role. It’s a state of mind and an art form all rolled into one. So buckle up as we dive deep into one of our favorite members of the butt sex brigade. 

What is a power bottom?

Hot, cold, yes, no, in, out, up, down — Katy Perry lyrics and, for those of you who might not know, also things that are opposites. Sometimes, in order to understand something, you must know what it isn’t before learning what it is. In that way, you might think of a power bottom as the diametrical opposite of the pillow prince (or princess).

Whereas pillow princes prefer to just lie there and let someone else rim, suck, fuck, thrust, or whatever else, a power bottom likes to take total control of the situation. For him, the limit simply doesn’t exist (unless he tells you it does, in which case, listen). 

Allegedly, some nameless gay man in the 1990s was the first person to start using the expression power bottom. Whoever it was, he really popped off with that one. Clear, direct, and to the point — you almost don’t need a power bottom definition, but if we were to give it one, it might read like this: 

Power bottom (pow·er bot·tom) — noun: A dominant person who prefers to be on the receiving end of anal sex. 

The role of power bottoms

Power bottoms are an essential part of the sexual ecosystem. They are the apex predators of the sexual Serengeti. Dominant. Aggressive. A hole with a goal. They give all of us something to aspire to.

And being a power bottom is not for the faint of heart. It takes training, practice, and precision to cultivate all the necessary skills. One doesn’t simply wake up one day as That Bitch. But that driven mindset is, of course, the most defining characteristic of the power bottom. By definition, they want power. They want to take control. Sure, it might take a while before you’re dropping into a squat in the middle of a gang bang, taking dicks left, right, and center like it’s no big deal. But the first step is a can-do attitude and a hunger for cock that you won’t take lying down.

Becoming a power bottom

Step one: toys — lots and lots of toys. As any good power bottom will tell you, preparation is an essential part of the process, and we’re not just talking about douching and dieting (the other two Ds). Experimentation with toys is where some of the best power bottoms got their start. Before they start throwing a leg behind their head or throwing it back during doggy style, they test their limits with toys. 

Once you’ve mastered that, you might need to hit the gym. From the tempo to the depth of penetration, you’re running the show; that takes strength and stamina.

Finally, don’t take no shit. People sometimes assume power bottoms are super submissive, but that’s a common misconception. Actually, there’s quite a lot people get wrong about power bottoms, so let’s dispel a few common myths. 

Myths about power bottoms

The men. The myths. The legends.

Power bottoms are spoken of in hushed whispers by terrified tops who don’t know how to handle that much man movement. All that whispering leads to a game of telephone where some of the details get mixed up. Fortunately, we’re here to set the record gay.

Power bottoms are submissive

This might be the most annoying misconception because it is based on the idea that getting fucked inherently means you’re passive, submissive, or weak. Some bottoms absolutely are submissive, which is lovely. But not all rectangles are squares, and not all bottoms are subs. Just like tops can be gentle, “docile and demure” doesn’t describe a power bottom, meaning plenty of myth-spreaders are in for a surprise.

Power bottoms never feel pain

Hooking up with a power bottom doesn’t give you free rein to try and shove a freight train up his ass. Power bottoms may appear to be the superheroes of the bedroom, but they aren’t men of steel. Some power bottoms may enjoy pain play, but that Venn diagram isn’t a circle; check in with them and avoid making assumptions. 

And that goes for anyone you’re having sex with. Look out for verbal and physical cues, and ask about any gray areas. Fill out a BDSM checklist to make things extra official.

Power bottoms are only interested in bottoming

Don’t let the terminology fool you. There’s more going on with power bottoms than just their bodacious booties. Anal penetration might just be the tip of their iceberg. Blow jobs, rimming, long makeout sessions — sure, they like to bottom, but there’s so much more to explore. Heading right to the butt or only focusing on the back end means missing out on lots of other fun to be had. 

Size is all that matters

Just because some power bottoms can take more than 12 inches doesn’t mean that’s all they care about or look for. Fingers, toys, tongues — all are welcome (and often encouraged). Sometimes it’s about girth, sometimes it’s about length, and sometimes it’s about how you use it. Study up on how to hit his P-spot if you really want him to see stars.