How to Use a Strap-On: Everything You Need to Know

“Man, three-minute missionary sex again?” your partner groans with a forlorn look on his face. That’s when you know it’s time to spice things up. And no, we’re not talking about tossing paprika all over the pillows and hoping for the best. We’re talking about toys.

Toys are a great way to introduce something new and exciting to an otherwise stale sex life. Nine times out of 10, they’re also a blast to bring in even when things are going well. Sex toys make everything more fun. Case in point: the strap-on.

What is a strap-on?

A strap-on is a sex toy worn by a top to simulate a penis. It usually comes in two pieces — the harness and the dildo — which you may be able to mix and match. Strap-ons are one of many anal toys used for partnered sex, but they can be used for solo playtime, too.

Why use a strap-on?

Who’s using strap-ons these days? Most people would probably assume lesbians (duh). And lesbians certainly deserve their due, but they aren’t the only ones who wear strap-ons.

Strap-ons are becoming more commonplace in heterosexual relationships thanks to a sex act called pegging. Pegging is when someone, usually a penisless individual, penetrates a partner’s anus using a strap-on. It’s basically just anal sex with a lot more plastic.

We never thought we’d be uproariously cheering for straight guys, but it’s kinda neat that they’re getting more comfy with prostate play. Please continue to slay, boys! And as for the ladies inside them? Well, you hold that dommy mommy head of yours nice and high, too.

But we haven’t even gotten to the best part about strap-ons. They’re for everyone. People with penises can use them. People with vaginas can use them. Strap-ons are for anyone with any arrangement of parts.

Heck, some people really like oral sex with strap-ons. It’s not necessarily as common as pegging, but it’s a reminder that the strap-on is a versatile tool in your sexual arsenal.

The best strap-on: Which disembodied dick is right for you?

If you’re new to the world of wang, you might feel lost in the deluge of plastic dicks. But if you know why you’re buying a strap-on, picking one out should be easy.

Probably the most essential tip is to shop in person. We understand there’s something safe and comfortable about shopping online for sex toys. But think of your strap-on as a pair of vintage jeans; you want it to fit just right.

A beginner strap-on set consists of one (1) dildo of your choosing and one (1) harness. Many straps feature an O-ring on the crotch that can hold a wide array of phallic implements. Harnesses typically come in one of four styles:

• The jockstrap: This style is self-explanatory. It’s like a standard jockstrap — jock sold separately. These have straps that go around the waist and under the butt cheeks. An excellent choice for those who like a little lift.
• The thong: This is another pretty obvious one. These strap-ons look just like thongs. They lace between the cheeks, giving you the sexiest kind of wedgie.
• Underwear-style: This is a harness you wear around your chest like a bikini! Just kidding. It’s underwear. Imagine a cozy pair of boxers. This style is best for all-day wear but works equally well for sex (particularly if you’re planning to have sex all day).
• Thigh strap: This option is ideal for those who already have some hardware of their own that would get in the way of a crotch-oriented strap-on. The strap wraps around your thigh so your partner can take a bumpy ride on your lap.

Something to consider: Who’s getting fucked here? If it’s anybody’s first experience with pegging, take that into account and shop for a very demure, very mindful dildo. And we certainly recommend that both the wearer and receiver shop for the strap-on together. You want to pick something that’s a good fit for everyone.

The material should also be something safe and comfortable. We recommend medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, or glass. Avoid using silicone lube if you buy a silicone toy. They don’t play well together. 

How to use a strap-on

So, you’ve bought your strap-on. Now what? Before you start pegging like you’re waiting for your food at Cracker Barrel, there are a few things to know about using a strap-on.

Keep it clean and sanitized

Every sex toy should be thoroughly cleaned and sanitized before you go knocking on any orifices. For best results, follow the manufacturer’s recommendations. Always clean your equipment after play to keep it sanitary.

Put that thing on

Now that it’s clean, you’re free to equip your gear. How you put it on will depend on the type you bought. Some might have a leg strap, while others have a full-blown harness. Either way, the goal is to secure it so it feels like an extension of your body. 

Condoms are generally more of a comfort-level addition since there’s no exchange of bodily fluids. However, they’re a wise choice if you’re sharing your pseudo-schlong between multiple partners and can make the whole process more sanitary.

Sexual penetration time!

It’s time to lube that thing up and do the deed! We don’t know your deal, so we can’t tell you exactly how to go about it (although we have some tips). Just use plenty of lube (probably more than you think you need), start slow, and have fun, diva.

Not in the mood for partnered play? You could always use the strap-on for an exciting masturbation session — with or without your partner present. Don’t limit yourself; sex isn’t all about penetration anyway, and neither is using your strap-on.

Communicate with your partner

The wearer of the strap-on should ensure their partner is feeling good and sexy at all times. Bottoms, don’t hesitate to make suggestions or speak up if things get uncomfortable. Each strap-on will provide a unique experience, as will the techniques you or your partner use. Every sex act should come with lots of communication, and strap-on activities like pegging are no exception.

Get creative

Once you accept the responsibility of brandishing the silicone sausage, it’s time to see how you can use its powers for good. You and your partner can use your new toy to explore your deepest sexual desires and wildest positions. After all, why does anyone buy a strap-on if not to explore the road less traveled?

Practice aftercare

The usage of a strap-on can be disorienting for some. Both the wearer and the receiver may feel vulnerable afterward. Talk openly about what each of you enjoyed or didn’t enjoy, and note it for the next time this type of stimulation is on the menu.

How to clean a strap-on

Using a strap-on is mostly straightforward. Cleaning it, however, is a whole different story. Here’s how to clean off all that lube and grime.

We’ll start with the harness. Most of these are made of fabric, so they should be safe to just throw in the wash with the rest of your clothes (well, maybe some choice clothes, anyway). Don’t do this with a leather, latex, or rubber harness, though — you’ll ruin her. Whatever it’s made of, your best bet is always to read the manufacturer’s recommendations for cleaning.

Onto the meat of the matter: the dildo. This will also vary based on the material it’s made from. Most are perfectly fine to wash with gentle soap and warm water. Some dildos, particularly ones made of glass or stainless steel, you can actually stick in the dishwasher or boil. Just ensure you don’t do this with vibrators and that you weren’t planning to use that pot for pasta later.