What Is Pegging? Strap On and Find Out

We’re in a new era of sex and sexuality where the poophole is more than a loophole, and everyone is entering through the back door — including those of the heterosexual persuasion.

The Rectal Renaissance is positively thriving, with curiosity surrounding prostate pleasure reaching a fever pitch. Many people are rapidly graduating from finger to tongue to toy. And if that’s the sexual trajectory, then pegging is the diploma.

But what does it mean to peg someone, and how do you do it safely? How can you bring it up with your partner without everything getting weird? Don’t worry — we’ve got a finger on the pulse (among other things) regarding penetrative sex. So relax and let us take charge; the knowledge will go in a lot easier if you do.

What does pegging mean?

Most people would describe pegging as a female donning a strap-on dildo to pleasure a male partner through anal penetration. We would argue any anal penetration with a strap-on can be classified as pegging; the practice doesn’t have to be pigeonholed into any one gender. But you better believe someone’s hole is getting pigeoned if there’s pegging involved.

You don’t have to be gay (or any specific sexual orientation) to enjoy getting stuffed like a martini olive, either. Sex and pleasure aren’t nearly as binary as the boxes society puts us in. So, if you’re a heterosexual guy who’s thinking about receiving anal penetration, then pegging is worth a try.

The term “pegging” was popularized in the 2000s thanks to a reader poll in Dan Savage’s Savage Love sex advice column, wherein he asked readers to name the act. However, the practice has been going on for a long time across many cultures and communities.

Since its dubbing, pop culture helped spread the term; shout-outs in Peep Show, Deadpool, and Broad City inspired countless individuals to type “what does getting pegged mean” into their internet browsers, only to promptly clear their browser history.

Why do people enjoy pegging?

Pegging is often a role reversal, which is automatically a pretty sexy thing to a large percentage of the population. It strikes at the core of what makes Dom/sub sex so enticing, and many view pegging and being pegged as BDSM practices.

However, the motivation doesn’t need to be quite so psychological. People with prostates get an extra sense of physical and sexual pleasure since pegging involves spelunking into the butt, where the fabled P-spot lies dormant (at least for many heterosexual men).

As for women, there’s a lot to be said for vicarious pleasure. Plus, it’s pretty fun to dismantle the patriarchy with its own tool. Breaking gender norms and female empowerment has always been sexy — this just presents another avenue via the road less traveled.

And like most BDSM-leaning activities, pegging can foster deeper emotional connections between partners. It requires communication, trust, and vulnerability — all non-negotiables for those who want a flourishing and healthy relationship. And what is pegging in sex if not an act of love?

Pegging toys and accessories

Any exploration of pegging will involve a trip to a sex shop if you don’t already have the right gear. Here’s the bare minimum you’ll need to get started:

Dildo

The dildo is the star of the show. Although you might have a dildo handy, some are made specifically for pegging and anal penetration. Always use toys with flared bases since these won’t get lost inside anyone during play. You should also consider the shape and material, ensuring they’re body-safe, easily cleanable, and comfy for all parties.

Harness

As the other half of the “strap-on” contraption, the harness plays a supporting role (literally). Adjustable harnesses are usually the best for pegging, but anything comfortable that fits well will set you on the right track. 

Lube

We’re gonna go ahead and say lube is a mandatory accessory if you want to engage in pegging. You need to properly lubricate the hole for a comfortable and pleasurable experience, especially if the person being pegged is still new to it.

First-time pegging? Here’s how to do it

With all the necessary tools and equipment ready to go, it’s time to do the deed. If it’s your first time pegging or penetrating someone, we’ll help ease you into it.

Communicate

Well, who would have thought that a new sex act would require a conversation in order to be comfortable? That’s right — it’s time for another healthy discussion about desires, boundaries, and concerns. Consider what you hope to gain from the experience, and let your partner know beforehand. It also wouldn’t hurt to establish a safe word in case things get too intense for either of you.

Start slow

If it’s your first time, take things slowly. Begin with foreplay to create arousal and relaxation. Gradually introduce fingers or smaller toys to help your partner adjust to anal play and stimulate the area. There are a lot of nerve endings down there just waiting to be titillated, but that sensitivity could result in pain if you go too fast or hard.

Use plenty of lube (like, more than you think you need)

Lubricant will be your best friend for anything butt-related. You’ll need to positively baste that dildo in lube like a Christmas ham if it’s your partner’s first time getting penetrated. It doesn’t take much to turn the sexual pleasure they’re experiencing into an uncomfortable sensation; lube will help prevent the bad kind of friction.

Find the comfiest position

Experiment with different positions to find what feels best for everyone. Some receiving partners may prefer to be on their back, whereas others may find doggy style or spooning sex more comfortable. Comfiness should be the priority, but different positions may provide varying levels of pleasure, as well. The best position is one that’s both comfortable and orgasm-inducing.

Pay attention to cues

Your partner writhing in ecstasy should be a pretty solid cue to keep on keeping on. But if you feel them tense up, it might be a good time to check in and determine whether you need to go slower or switch positions. If you’re the one receiving penetration, you can provide cues, but don’t rely on them to replace direct communication. Speak up!

How to discuss pegging with your partner

Now, on to the meat and potatoes of the pegging discussion: How do you ask someone if they’re willing to mash your potatoes with their simulated meat? There’s a lot of fear and stigma surrounding the act, so we understand you may feel some trepidation bringing it up to your partner. But there are ways to make it easier on yourself so the conversation doesn’t go off the rails:

Pick the right time

You want both of you to feel like you have enough privacy during your conversation to discuss it openly and honestly. So that probably wouldn’t be in the middle of the deli or at a dinner with your parents. There might not be an “ideal” time to bring it up, but you can ensure you’re in a favorable setting free from distractions.

Share and be shared with

Be open about why you’re curious to entertain pegging. Don’t hold back; the more specific you are, the more your partner will understand why it’s important to you.

But just as vital as it is for you to share, you’ll also need to listen to their perspective. If this discussion is coming out of left field, don’t be surprised if they have concerns or questions. Prepare for the Q&A portion with the help of articles like these. Heck, maybe even send this article to them so they can gain some perspective.

Be open to discussing boundaries

Both partners might be interested in pegging while harboring reservations or boundaries. Talk about what you’re comfortable with and ask your partner if they have anything they can’t compromise on. Discussing this early on can make your partner more comfortable giving pegging the old college try.

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