What Is Frotting? The Steamy Lowdown on Gay Frottage Fun

Gay sex might seem (ironically) straightforward. Insert thing until said thing does the thing, and you’re done — how nice.

But you should never underestimate gay audacity. We’re known to do a little DIY now and then, and sex is no exception. We don’t have to live within the confines of heteronormativity that say penetrative sex is the only path to pleasure. Our highly evolved gay brains have moved beyond the “fuck or be fucked” paradigm, opening up a smorgasbord of sexual activity to slut around in that doesn’t involve blasting our holes until we feel like a log flume.

One example: frotting, aka frottage sex. It’s fun to say and even more fun to do. But what does it mean? Let’s discuss this unique form of non-penetrative sex that will make your fucking more fulfilling — even when nothing’s getting filled.

What is frotting?

Frotting, also known as “dry humping” or “rubbing,” involves rubbing one’s genitals against another person’s body for sexual pleasure through friction without penetration. This practice can occur fully clothed or partially undressed. In gay male circles, frot often specifically denotes penis-on-penis contact.

Frotting is extremely popular, to the point where many people have practiced it without ever knowing what it’s called. Have you ever climbed atop your partner and made out as you rubbed your slack salamis together? That’s frotting, friendo. So, although it’s technically not a “traditional” sex act, it’s still practiced and loved by gay sex-havers everywhere.

How to practice frotting

You don’t really need to be taught to frot; many sex positions you already enjoy are potential candidates. Common frotting methods include grinding against each other while standing or lying down and using body movements to create phallus friction.

Try experimenting with different frot positions to enhance pleasure. Like all good sex, the key is to talk openly with your partner and try new things to discover what feels best. You’ll be churning up some frottage cheese in no time.

Frottage sex examples

Want to know what frottage sex looks like in the wild? Here are a few examples:

1. Face-to-face grinding: Partners face each other and rub their bodies together, allowing for eye contact and deep connection. Perfect for when you’ve stopped paying attention to the movie you came over to “watch.”
2. Side-by-side rubbing: Lying next to each other, partners can grind against each other’s bodies, creating a sense of intimacy and closeness. Ideal for play in the morning, provided you can handle the potential of morning breath. If not, there are always spooning positions.
3. Clothed frotting: There’s no rule that says you have to frot naked. Frotting while fully clothed can heighten the anticipation and excitement of foreplay, making the experience feel more playful.
4. Use of props: Incorporating pillows or other props can enhance comfort and support during frotting, allowing you to explore various angles and movements.

Why do we enjoy penis frottage?

Why wouldn’t we enjoy penis frottage? It’s like gayer, more creative masturbating — and you get to do it with a buddy! But let’s look closer at the reasons it’s fun to frot:

Physical intimacy

Sex is intimate by default, but frottage offers a unique kind of intimacy that you can’t necessarily replicate with penetrative sex. Plus, there’s something undeniably appealing about sexual touch without the pressure of full-on sex, particularly for partners who are still exploring what they’re into.

Heightened sensations

What happens when you rub two sticks together? You get fire. That friction you experience during frottage is going to drive you wild and up the ante when you finally drop your panty. And if you’re going full birthday suit, the skin-to-skin contact generates warmth — no warming jelly required (but we wouldn’t say no).

Safer sex

Anal is about enjoying a piece of ass. A good frot is about enjoying peace of mind. Frottage is considered relatively safe, especially compared to penetrative or oral sex. And it’s even safer if you do it fully clothed. An activity with a lower chance of STIs is always a welcome addition to one’s sexual arsenal.

Frottage sex tips for penis-rubbing pleasure

Ready to try some gay frottage for yourself? Here’s what we recommend to get the most out of this fun and flirty form of sexual activity:

• Communicate preferences: Frotting isn’t exactly the most extreme sex act, but it’s always wise to discuss what you’re into and where your boundaries lie.
• Try different positions: Reverse cowboy frotting? That sounds challenging, but why not giddy-up and find out?
• Use lube: Intense genital rubbing is a recipe for chafing. You might find this sex act a lot more pleasurable if you add a water-based lubricant into the mix, unless the idea of getting a callus from rubbing a phallus is your idea of pleasure.
• Slow things down: Just like masturbating, frotting can and should be a sensual experience. Enjoy the moment as it’s happening and find a tempo that gets you there without rushing.
• Practice aftercare: Aftercare is generally associated with kink or BDSM acts, but it’s still something you can embrace after any kind of sex to reinforce emotional connection and intimacy. 
• Incorporate other sensual elements: If you really want to lean into the sensuality of frotting, kick things up a notch by setting the mood. Candles, soft music, and dim lighting can all add weight to your heavy petting.