Dry Humping: So Hot You’ll Start a Friction Fire

Getting naked with a guy, be it Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, is great and all, but when was the last time you got off without taking your clothes off? That’s right, we’re talking about the ultimate climax of couch cuddles: dry humping. 

A lot of people brush off dry humping as some tame, tepid activity reserved for shy nevernudes or folks who still live with their parents. But when done right, denim on denim — or whatever you happen to be wearing — can just be as hot as skin on skin (not to mention something to cross off your sexual bucket list). In a sense, it’s an extreme flavor of foreplay, like edging, that leaves you both craving more … either with or without your Calvins. 

Here’s the rubdown — er, rundown — on how to dry hump like a pro, plus a few pointers that’ll hopefully have you ready to turn up the heat without having to unzip.

What is dry humping? 

In short, dry humping translates to getting as close to home base as possible (and sometimes all the way there) but with a catch: The clothes stay on. The term also refers to clothed grinding on something, like a pillow or an especially shaky washing machine.

Dry humping goes by many names, including outercourse and frottage (although frottage is clothing-optional). 

Is dry humping sex?

Much like the debate over whether a hot dog is a sandwich, asking whether dry humping counts as sex is bound to raise some strong opinions. It’s arguably tame compared to penetrative sex, but if you ask us, it’s still definitely sex. Some even call it dry sex. The slicker sides among us may even consider it a preferable alternative to doing the deed the dirty (dirtier) way.

Dry humping perks

We hear you, Team “Just Put Your Mouth On It.” Selling dry humping to those accustomed to more heavily lubricated activities isn’t always easy. But here are a few reasons you might decide to keep a layer or two on:

• Rubs you the right way: Take it from Captain Obvious, dry humping is great because it feels… great!
• Keeps you safer: It turns out Levi’s make for a somewhat decent barrier from each other’s fluids, but they should never replace other types of actual protection like PrEP, doxyPEP, and condoms.
• Abstinence-compliant: If premarital sex is frowned upon in your culture or religion, outercourse is often technically not considered sex. In other words, it’s a loophole without a poophole.
• Foreplay frenzy: Dry humping doesn’t have to be the whole meal. You can enjoy it as an appetizer before grazing the rest of the buffet!

Dry humping positions

Any sex position works as a dry variant, but there are a few in particular we recommend:

Missionary

That’s right, the holiest of hole-pounding poses is perfect for dry humping. If you have a taste for something more chaste, try this on for size.

Straddling

Saddle up on your partner or favorite vibrating toy, and see just how much fun you can have with your clothes on, cowboy.

Scissoring

On paper, it may be a sapphic sex position, traditionally, but we’re willing to bet that at the right angle and rhythm, his scissors are bound to beat your rocks off. If not, go full stapler and try it on your sides.

Rub a dub dub

Pretend he’s a genie in a bottle; you gotta rub him the right way. Any kind of friction can get your dicks going, so why not try an over-the-pants handjob?

Dry humping safety tips

Fasten your seatbelt (aka the belt holding your pants up); dry humping can present risks. Here are some tips to keep things safe:

Dress for the occasion

Despite how sexy it might look and feel, bodily fluids can seep through many types of fabric, so porous or sheer material is best avoided. Conversely, some materials can enhance the sensation of dry humping; for example, certain soft fabrics can boost sensitivity as you rub and hump your way through your favorite Netflix series. Still, you should find clothes that strike a balance between enhancing your experience and keeping you safe. Again, no fabric is as safe as using condoms, PrEP, and doxyPEP. The chances of catching an STI from dry humping without protection might be slim, but the possibility exists. So, stay safe.

Ask nicely

Just because you’re clothed doesn’t mean consent doesn’t count. Even if it’s just a session of hot and heavy rubbing, check in with each other before, during, and after. Or go a step further and fill out a BDSM checklist to outline all your kinks and fetishes together ahead of time (which, aside from reassuring, can also be really hot).