How to Make a Man Cum & Leave Him Starry-Eyed

Men are infinitely creative (OK, nearly infinitely) when it comes to cumming. Almost as soon as we discover our beloved boners during puberty, we’re humping whatever inanimate object we can get our hands on, from the old leather couch cushions in the basement to whatever piece of unsuspecting produce Mom won’t miss from the fridge. Some call it kink. We call it innovation. 

But despite so many orgasmic options, some men have difficulty achieving pleasurable climaxes. 

There's no shortage of reasons to learn how to make a man cum in new and exciting ways. Whether you're overcoming sexual performance anxiety, feeling like it takes too long for him to finish, or ejaculating feels lackluster, Grindr has all the tips and tricks to be a better lover.

P is for preparation

You don't need a degree in quantum physics to learn how to make him cum. You just need to do a little homework. Here are three ways to make him cream his Calvins. 

1. Let him know you really want to fuck

We don't mean sending him a picture of your asshole and an arrow emoji, although that’ll definitely leave most any top begging for more. 

A big part of revving up your man is playing with his ego. Showing enthusiasm about him, his body, and sex is powerful mental foreplay. Let him know that you're turned on by the idea of being with him. Send him dirty texts like, "I can't wait to feel your hands on my body," or, "I love the way you picked me up last night. You're so strong." You can also send him compliments to let him know he's on your mind, like "I wish we could've had a quickie before work. Your butt looked incredible in those jeans today." By the time you meet up, he'll be bursting at the seams.

2. Fireside chat

If you want to learn how to make a guy hard, talk about all the different ways you want to play with his penis. Sharing your kinks and fetishes serves a dual purpose: You discover new activities to try in the bedroom and get horny fantasizing about them. If you don't know where to start, check out Grindr's sex bucket list and BDSM checklist. You might just discover that figuring out how to make him cum hard is as simple as putting on an adult diaper and sucking all the milk out of his bottle-sized schlong.

Plus, trying out new sexual activities deepens your physical and emotional bond, which can make you and your partner feel more sexual satisfaction.

3. Take edging to the next level

We aren't against a quickie on the kitchen floor. But if you really want to make your partner shoot his load further than an Olympic javelin thrower, you need to build up the action slowly. Edging him can start several hours before you get the chance to get down and dirty, like sending sexy texts to build the tension. 

You can also plan a day out where sex isn't possible, which doubles as a fun way to spice up boring errands. Playful eye contact or gentle grazing can get his bulge bulging. Kick it up with sexual innuendos, footsie, or rubbing up on him, and he'll be gearing up to fuck you in the car. When it's time to do the deed, keep it slow. Start with a romantic make session, reach under his pants and rub his penis, and finish off with a blowjob or intercourse. 

How to make a man cum fast

We use the word “fast” loosely. After all, most men have no problem ejaculating under the 5-minute mark. Making a man cum fast and hard is another story. 

Here are six ways to give your man the best 30 seconds of his life. 

1. Surprise him

Hop on his cock while he's lying under the kitchen sink snaking the drains. Take him behind a tree and blow him in the middle of a hike. Meet him in the garage and give him a drive-by hand job before he can unbuckle his seatbelt. Catching your man by surprise can make him feel completely irresistible, which leads to an orgasm as explosive as edging him all day. Just make sure that the act is consensual. 

2. Play with his prostate

Hidden about two inches up your man’s anus is his P-spot, which is basically a magic orgasm button. You can stimulate his prostate along his perineum while you warm him up before you finger him or play with his favorite vibrator. Prostate stimulation feels different than other orgasms — even the spiciest blowjob can’t compete with the full-body sensation of a prostate orgasm. To kick up the intensity, stimulate his dick and testicles at the same time. He’ll cum in record time. 

3. Focus on the good bits

Certain erogenous zones will make your man burst quicker than others. If you need to give your man a blow job or handy in a pinch, focus on the head of his cock or rub his foreskin up and down his shaft. Both parts of the penis are full of nerve endings and will quickly push your man over the edge. 

4. Ask and you shall receive

When he seems to be taking a little too long, just ask for it. If he’s dominant, let him know how much you need him to cum in or on you. You can also let him know when you feel your own orgasm coming on. “Baby, I’m gonna cum,” are four simple words to up the excitement and push him over the edge. If you're the Dom, demand that he cums or gently whisper it into his ear. Sploosh.

5. Practice breathwork

A common technique for lasting longer in bed is controlling your breathing. Relaxed, controlled breathing tends to calm you down and stop you from focusing on how fucking good your dick feels, potentially prolonging ejaculation. So, the opposite might make him cum quicker (according to gay math, at least). Try moaning and breathing heavily, gradually increasing your speed until he matches your pace. Not only is it a hot way to show enthusiasm, but it might signal his body to ejaculate faster. 

6. Pool your resources

Taking too long to cum isn't always a humble brag. It can be uncomfortable (and even painful) or cause distress, which might cause more serious erectile dysfunction. You can try home remedies, like cock rings or prostate massagers, to keep blood flowing to all the right places.

How to make a guy orgasm hard

If you’re less concerned with improving your times and more with increasing quality ejaculating, here are three ways to make him cum into next Tuesday. 

1. Gobble ‘em, swallow ‘em

Although letting him reward you with a pearl necklace is the cherry on top of the blowjob, swallowing his semen can prolong the feel-good sensation. Be sure to really work his rocket to make sure he blasts into space. And if you have a praise kink, servicing his member just how he likes can push you to the edge, too. 

Start by teasing and massaging his thighs, hips, and belly before gobbling and swallowing his perineum, testicles, and asshole, eventually making your way to his cock. To heighten the orgasm, edge him. As soon as he feels he’s about to blow, pump the brakes and let him relax before starting again. 

2. Make sex feel new again

We’re happy with a lazy blowjob during a commercial break as much as the next gay. But routine can lead to run-of-the-mill orgasms and lackluster sexual satisfaction, which might lead to weak or slow orgasms. 

There are infinite ways to have sex, which means adding something new doesn’t have to be complicated. Purchasing a new vibrator, exploring a wild sex position, or fucking in the shower are all easy ways to add excitement back to quick bedroom sessions. 

3. Practice kegel exercises together

Get that gorilla-grip bussy together with kegel exercises. Kegels are the muscles in your pelvic floor. When you stop yourself from peeing mid-stream, that's your Kegels. But a strong pelvic floor is beneficial to your stick and stones, too. Research suggests that they can help with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, potentially leading to longer sessions and stronger orgasms. 

How long does it usually take for a man to cum

On average, men ejaculate within five to seven minutes of stimulation. However, there's a lot of variance, with some men lasting less than a minute while others go more than half an hour.

That said, you shouldn’t have sex with a timer. Sex is about more than ejaculation — teasing, foreplay, and creative non-penetrative sex are just as important as intercourse. Whether you cum in two minutes or 20, you and your partner’s sexual satisfaction is all that matters.