CD: Meaning on Grindr, Plus Cross-dressing Tips

You’re mindfully (or mindlessly) scrolling Grindr, seeing what options await you just down the block. But as you scroll, you notice an acronym you haven’t seen before: CD.

What is CD’s meaning on Grindr? Is this person really into cadmium? Compact discs? Or is it short for some kind of cock domination you aren’t familiar with (but would maybe like to be)?

Those two letters could mean countless things, but you might be surprised to learn that this dating app term isn’t NSFW—at least, not necessarily. CD is an acronym for cross-dressing, a form of gender expression that could be sexual for some or a lifestyle for others.

Either way, if the idea of frolicking in a fanciful dress has you all aflutter, we’re covering everything you need to know about the cross-dresser, including how to unleash your inner diva in a whole new way.

OK, so what is cross-dressing?

Cross-dressing is wearing clothes typically reserved for another gender. If you come across cross-dressing or CD on Grindr, it probably refers to men wearing clothing, makeup, or even lingerie designed for women.

CD enthusiasts engage in the practice for countless reasons. For some, it’s a sex thing — often a kink or fetish. Who wouldn’t feel sexy in a shiny pair of heels? For others, it’s pure self-expression, bordering on art. And some femboys just wanna have fun!

You don’t have to be gay to enjoy playing dress up this way. Plenty of bisexual, heterosexual, and even trans individuals consider themselves cross-dressers, and no one bats a false eyelash.

It’s easy to dunk on this practice by rightfully asserting that clothing has no gender. That said, humans are social creatures, so social constructs like gender (and its culturally assigned behaviors) do matter. CD or cross-dressing is a helpful identifier for those who want to look or dress outside the norms to satisfy their gender expression.

Are cross-dressing men transgender?

Countless queer terms seemingly cross over with cross-dressing, including transvestite and transgender. But we’re dealing with some pretty essential differences here, so let’s break it down for maximum clarity.

Cross-dresser vs. transvestite

The difference between cross-dresser and transvestite mainly boils down to sensitivity (and not whether the person is from Transylvania). Transvestite is considered by many to be a dated and derogatory term stemming from a problematic history of medicalizing queer people. The term transvestite was used as a diagnosis that othered cross-dressers and asserted that they needed “fixing.”

That said, the queer community has a long history of reclaiming words (see also: queer), so don’t get your knickers in a twist if someone prefers to be called a transvestite.

Cross-dresser vs. transgender or transsexual

This distinction opens up a whole new can of gender. A cross-dresser will rarely, if ever, identify as transgender or transsexual. (Note: Transsexual is another complicated and touchy term, so maybe avoid that one, too.) Transgender women are women — full stop. When they wear women’s clothing, that isn’t cross-dressing; it’s just called “dressing.”

Trans people might derive pleasure from their gender presentation, but in a way that isn’t inherently sexual. Instead, it’s called gender euphoria, a feeling people experience when representing their inner self on the outside.

That’s not to say that gender euphoria is exclusive to trans individuals. Even cisgender, heterosexual men experience gender euphoria (presumably when they use a 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner from a black and steel-colored bottle). But the experience is usually not the same for transvestites or cross-dressers since they don’t attach their identity or personhood to the gender they dress up as.

Labels are notoriously tricky to navigate, especially when you make assumptions. Ask people how they prefer to be addressed rather than assuming they fall within a specific category based on looks.

Are cross-dressers the same as drag queens?

This is where the mascara gets more understandably muddled, even if you’re well-versed on the P’s and Q’s of cross-dressing. What’s the difference between a cross-dresser and a drag queen?

Drag queens and kings adopt an exaggerated persona for gender performance. This often includes makeup, elaborate costumes, and an act that showcases their talent, be it lip-syncing, comedy, or voguing. Conversely, cross-dressing isn’t necessarily done for an audience. The intention may be to pass as another gender or gain sexual gratification.

There are plenty of parallels between cross-dressers and drag queens; the difference comes down to vibes and intent. Again, it’s always safest to ask the person’s preferred title if you’re unsure.

How to cross-dress: Cross-dressing tips

Next up on So You Think You Can Cross-Dress, we’re highlighting the most critical aspects of unleashing your inner “womana” on the world.

An important disclaimer before we begin: None of these tips on being a cross-dresser are hard and fast rules. Take what you like and leave the rest. Find your own version of femme and own it, darling!

Here are some tips from those who’ve walked a mile or two in their mother’s heels:

Contour your face

Makeup tutorials geared toward faces that are already femme might not produce the best results. Instead, focus on contouring your face to give yourself the mug of your dreams. Try to shrink areas that give you a more traditionally masculine shape, like the jaw or eyebrows. If you don’t know the first thing about makeup, don’t worry; YouTube is lousy with makeup tutorials that will help with your transformation.

Wear shapewear

Padding and corseting are standard practices in the cross-dresser community, as they minimize one’s waist while maximizing the boobs and butt. However, bodies come in countless shapes, so don’t feel pressured to alter yours in a specific way.

Invest in a wig (or a few)

You’re probably not walking around with big naturals (locks, that is), so you’ll want to shop around for a few good wigs. You can easily spend a fortune on a lace-front piece made with human hair, but you don’t necessarily need to — especially when starting out.

Just know that a cheap Amazon wig probably won’t fulfill the fantasy in the same way. Look at a wig as an investment that will pay dividends for years to come.

Get the shoes, baby

Shoes certainly complete the look, but breaking your ankles in a pair of sky-high stripper heels might dampen the rest of your cross-dressing experience. Like many other aspects of this practice, you’ll need time to adjust to heels or other feminine-leaning footwear.

Start small and get a pair that fits (easier said than done for some, but oh-so-important). If you’re experiencing excessive pain or discomfort, you’ll probably need to pick out a different pair.

Picture yourself cross-dressing (literally)

Don’t hesitate to take those sexed-up boudoir photos you’ve been considering. It’s not just thirst-trapping; it’s self-improvement! Taking pictures of yourself in your outfits and makeup can help you hone your look (and it’s just plain fun). Whether or not you share them, you should take pride in your practice.

Consider shaving

There’s no hard and fast rule about shaving: We’re (thankfully) in an era where femme individuals aren’t measured by how many Venus razors they go through in a month. But if being their fire is your desire, shaving may add to your experience. A clean face will also make your makeup application process a breeze compared to fighting your beard with a beauty blender.

Learn proper posture

Not to rain-in-Spain-stays-mainly-in-the-plain you, but a traditionally “womanly” effect might be your bag if you’re trying to cross-dress your best. You can change your gait when you walk and practice altering your gestures to present more femme. All it takes sometimes is curbing that urge to manspread (which you should be working on anyway, my dear).

Find your (femme) voice

Feminizing your voice through vocal training might be easy for some and challenging for others, depending on what’s in your (voice) box. Many newcomers make the mistake of over-exaggerating and talking in a falsetto. In reality, it’s more about placement than pitch. Regardless of your approach, practice makes her-fect!