Beyond the Tip: How to Deep-Throat Without Gagging

The night’s going just like you wanted. You matched with a hot guy on Grindr, skipped the small talk, and now you’re kneeling on his bedroom floor. He has a big, beautiful cock, and you love the way he tastes.

You know you give a great BJ, and the way he’s moaning says he agrees. But as he inches further and further into your mouth, you panic. You have a sensitive pharyngeal reflex (aka gag reflex), and you don’t know how to deep-throat without setting it off.

Luckily, you don’t have to choose between disappointing your date or losing your lunch on his dick. Once you complete this deep-throat training, he won’t be the only one begging for more. 

What is deep-throating?

Some sex acts have clever names that don’t give away what they really mean. You could safely tell your grandma, “I just tossed my honey blumpkin’s salad,” and unless you forgot to clean up afterward, she’d never suspect what a dirty boy you were.

But deep-throating is pretty straightforward. It means you’re taking the full length of your partner’s penis into your mouth without stopping at the usual gag point. And while it might sound intimidating or even a little unpleasant, it’s a great way to take your blowjobs to the next level while deepening your physical and emotional connection with your partner.

The benefits and potential risks of deep-throating

Deep-throating has some obvious perks. Many people find the sensation heightened and more intimate than basic oral, making the experience feel as thrilling as penetrative sex. And seeing how impressed he is when you let him fuck the back of your throat without flinching will make your ego grow right alongside the bulge in your pants.

That said, it’s important to know your limits. If you push yourself too far or ignore your body’s signals, deep-throating can cause discomfort, strain, or soreness, especially if done too frequently or too forcefully. And if you don’t learn how to deep-throat a dick properly, you might dissolve into a coughing fit — or worse, swallow vomit when you’d rather be choking on cum.

How to prepare for deep-throating

In just a minute, we’ll share some tips for the act itself. But if you really want to show him what that mouth do, you need to set yourself up for success.

Agree on a safe word (or gesture)

It’s smart to establish a safe word when you’re pushing the limits during sex — a random word like “zephyr” or “Kyrgyzstan” that you’re not likely to scream while gripped in the throes of passion. But since saying “Kyrgyzstan” is tricky with a mouth full of dick, talk to your partner about a safe gesture instead, like snapping your fingers or squeezing his hand three times to signal you need a break.

Establish consent

Deep-throating isn’t for everyone. Ensure you and your partner are both into the idea so no one feels pressured. A quick chat beforehand helps build trust and keeps things consensual, which will make the experience safer and more enjoyable for you both.

Relax

Start by taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself and release any tension in your throat. Take it slow, breathing through your nose to help prevent that gag reflex from kicking in. With your nerves calmed and your head free of worry, you’ll be ready for whatever comes (and cums) your way.

Use lubrication

A little lube goes a long way when you’re giving head, helping you deep-throat much more smoothly. Although saliva does a lot of the work, adding a water-based lube to the mix can help ease things along and reduce friction. Less drag means less chance of discomfort, and you can even tickle your taste buds with a flavored lube.

Try a numbing spray

If your gag reflex is particularly sensitive, numbing spray could be the key to unlocking your ability to deep-throat. A quick spray on the back of your throat will dull the sensitivity, making it easier to take him deeper without gagging.

Just be careful not to overdo it. Using too much might desensitize both of you, making the experience a lot less fun. Start with a light spritz, give it a moment to kick in, and add more as needed. With practice, you might not even need the numbing spray anymore, but it’s a big help if you’re just starting out.

How to deep-throat without gagging

Ready to give a blowjob neither of you will soon forget? Here are six tips for taking it like a champ:

1. Take it slow

We said this once, but it’s worth repeating: Don’t let him whip it out and shove it down your throat right away. Rushing can trigger your gag reflex and throw you off your rhythm. Instead, start slowly, taking him a little deeper with each thrust. And if you’re struggling to get into a head-giving headspace, a few minutes of foreplay or mutual masturbation could do the trick.

2. Stimulate the head

If you’re not ready to go all the way just yet, focus on the most sensitive part: the head. Use your tongue to trace circles or flick the tip, and keep a steady rhythm. Your licks will drive him wild without taking you out of your comfort zone.

3. Make eye contact

There’s something incredibly intimate about locking eyes in the middle of a blowjob. It shows confidence, amps up the intensity, and can help distract you from any nervousness. He’ll love seeing how much you love to lick and suck his dick. But be warned: If he’s about to ejaculate, making eye contact could push him over the edge.

4. Alternate between mouth and hands

Switching between your mouth and your hands will give your throat a break while keeping him stimulated. Use your hand to glide up and down his shaft, adding a twist here and there. When you’re ready, take him back in your mouth and go a bit deeper.

Note: We love a good footjob as much as the next guy, but unless you get off on the idea of licking your own feet, those are better left for non-blowjob days.

5. Spit on it

Fresh out of lube? That’s what saliva’s for. Spit on his dick for some extra lubrication to help him glide in and out of your mouth more smoothly.

6. Hide your teeth

You know how sensitive your own penis is, so you can imagine how he’d feel if his skin got snagged on your chompers. Tucking your lips around your teeth will improve the experience for you, too, helping you control the depth with a smooth, soft grip.

The best positions for deep-throating

When it comes to deep-throat sex positions, there’s a surprising amount of room for creativity. Try these deep-throating sex positions to see which feels best to you:

Missionary (with a twist)

Think missionary style is boring? Think again! With a little adjustment, this position is perfect for deep-throating (and hot enough to have a missionary praying for redemption).

Lie down on your back with your head just past the edge of the bed or couch. Have him stand or kneel so he can enter your mouth from above. The angle will let you control the depth by adjusting the tilt of your head, making it easier to give a blowjob without triggering your gag reflex.

Bonus: He’ll have a fantastic view while you’re giving head.

Standard (on your knees)

Kneeling in front of him gives you full control over the pace and depth of the blowjob. You can go as deep as you’re comfortable with and switch things up with your hands or tongue whenever you need a breather.

Bonus: This position lets you gaze up at him for that coveted eye contact we mentioned before.

The table surfer

Find a sturdy surface like a table or counter and have him sit on the edge while you kneel or sit on a chair and suck his cock. This height difference gives you easy access without straining your neck. With him sitting, you can lean forward comfortably, and he can either sit back and enjoy the blowjob or place his hands on your head to guide you — whatever you’re both into.

The 69

Sixty-nining is a great option for couples who want to give each other simultaneous blowjobs. One of you should lie on his back while the other hovers above on all fours so you can suck each other’s dicks at the same time. If you’re nervous about your gag reflex, the top might be the spot for you so you can have more control over the depth and angle.