Gay Sex Ed: The Third Hole

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High school was a long-ass time ago, but I distinctly remember that my sex ed course never ever spoke about the bum as a source of sexual pleasure. I was particularly curious about butt stuff at the time, so I was quite literally begging for it* (*info on butt stuff).

My gym teacher, a burly homophobe, was the sex ed teacher at my school. When anal sex was mentioned in class, knuckle-head students would chuckle, he’d smirk, and we’d move on. No mention of lube, douching, consent, nada. Butt sex was gay, and gay people didn’t exist according to our curriculum. As such, my comprehension of anal stimulation and anatomy has been largely self-taught.

This became abundantly clear when I came out of the closet and dated a very experienced man in his 40s. He relished my naivete and got off on introducing me to new experiences, one of which was accessing what he called my “second hole.” At the time, I thought people had one b-hole, but I was wrong. And so was he.

If we’re going to get technical, the hole he wanted to access is actually the third hole, because there are two sphincters in the rim region of our bums: internal and external. About 16 to 20 centimeters from this area lives the rectosigmoid junction—the third hole—where the rectum meets the sigmoid colon.

This oft-ignored area can be a wonderful, albeit sensitive, source of pleasure. So let’s get to know her better, shall we?

C'mon c'mon do the rectosigmoid junction with me

A quick warning: this answer has a lot to do with poop. The rectosigmoid junction keeps feces in the sigmoid portion of the colon (which is six to nine inches inside the booty-hole, just above the rectum, which is roughly four to six inches long). It remains closed until our body is ready to have a bowel movement.

The sigmoid colon lays horizontal in the body (at a near 90-degree angle) and is the final resting place for feces before it turns the corner at the rectosigmoid junction and exits the body through the rectum.

“Once the body senses the flow of stool, the rectosigmoid position goes from being angled to starting to straighten out, allowing the passage of stool down to the rectum and into your toilet,” Dr. Evan Goldstein, CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a medical and wellness practice for gay men, says. “I think a lot of people already hit this area without knowing it.”

Since the rectosigmoid junction sounds like a Schoolhouse Rock tune, Goldstein recommends we refer to this part of our anatomy as the “deeper hole.”

Douche destroyer

You know how sometimes when you douche, the water’s running clear, and—boom!—you’re back in muddy territory? That’s because you’ve over-douched (either using too much volume or doing so too many times) and water has rushed passed the rectosigmoid junction and into the sigmoid colon, where poop is stored, creating more of a mess than if you hadn’t douched in the first place.

For more info on how to douche properly—look here.

Handle with care

The deeper you get into the bum, the more force that’s required. The higher the force that’s generated, the increased potential for issues like fissures, hemorrhoids, and tearing in the rectal region. Overdouching can bring about these same issues, causing significant damage before you engage in anal play.

“The best thing you can do is use a longer toy on your own first to see if you like this type of stimulation,” Goldstein recommends. “Figure out the angles, see what works and what doesn’t, and then you’ll be in a position for success.”

Using a well-lubed toy beforehand (especially one that reaches the desired region) can help ease the process with a partner, since it can be difficult to get lube that deep inside your b-hole. If you don’t want to use a toy, a lube injector is also quite effective.

“This area totally has nerve endings that can be positively stimulating,” Goldstein says. “Remember that high up, there are many other anatomical regions abutting, like the pelvic brim, bladder, lumbosacral region, etc. All of these elicit pleasurable (but sometimes painful) sensations and hopefully with proper preparation (douching, toys, lube, better tops, etc.), it will lead to great sex.”

Open up to new possibilities

“If the area is irritated, you may experience some mild tearing and bleeding, along with more typical anal pathologies like fissure, hemorrhoids, and so on,” Goldstein says. “Proper education and experience, along with choosing a top who understands the ins and outs of sex (no pun intended), are key.”

Essentially, the rules for accessing the the rectosigmoid junction (the “deeper hole”) are the same as anal sex in general. But since you’re going deeper, these precautions are amplified. So treat your body right, stop when things get uncomfortable, communicate throughout the process, and most important, have fun!